7 Simple Ways of Dealing With Sibling Rivalry(That Work)

Come to think of it, how many times have you had to stop your children from fighting each other or name-calling? Then even before you can get over that ordeal, they are at it again. This time they are fighting over the same toy they had fought for last time. Last time, they were arguing over what cartoon channel to watch. The other time, Jamie wanted the creamier piece of the cake but big bro would have rather fight and not let him have it.

Fights between siblings just don’t end. Studies have shown that a lot of fights happen between little children under the age of 7 years and they usually argue between 3 to 7 times per hour. Truth be told, as long as you have more than one child in your household, there is no way you are running away from sibling rivalry. It starts as soon as the second child comes into the picture.

The firstborn who was used to all the attention and control of all the toys and gadgets in the house suddenly has to share all this with someone. Feelings of jealousy, anger, and resentment develop and regular fights become the new norm. This leaves you feeling exhausted from regularly having to intervene in their squabbles and listening to all their quarrels.

Sibling Rivalry is Unavoidable

Sibling rivalry is hard to avoid with several children in the house. However, the silver lining in this dark cloud is that it can be managed. The first step to achieving this is by realizing its route course. Occasionally, rivalry arises from the natural working of a family known as a family dynamic and the children’s order of birth.

The way a family operates plays a role in sibling rivalry. If children grow up experiencing favoritism, regular conflicts or insecurity plays a role in the siblings’ relationship. A firstborn child is more likely to fight with the second born more often than they would with the third born.

And if you have been asking yourself how to improve a healthy relationship among your children, the kind that will last up to their old age, then this article is for you. Below are some of the ways to handle sibling rivalry.

Tips on How to Handle Sibling Rivalry

1. Ignore the fights

The best way to handle sibling rivalry is to stay as far from it as possible. Avoid giving attention to your children’s fights. Giving them your attention may only make it worse as each tries to prove them or play the victim. Only bulge in when it turns into a fight and only to separate them so they don’t hurt each other.

2. Handle them fairly

When disciplining your children, do it fairly and not equally. Don’t give the younger one the same kind of punishment you would give the elder sibling. When buying them gifts such as clothes and toys, go for each one’s taste and preference. This will ensure none of them is feeling left out or favored over the other.

3. Avoid comparing them

Like it or not, your children are always going to be different from each other in one way or another. Never tell one, ‘why are you not as intelligent as your brother’ or, ‘you should be as responsible as your sister here.’ Such a mistake creates room for jealousy, which can result in more rivalry. Learn to embrace their uniqueness and celebrate their little achievements instead.

4. Make some rules

Have some rules in your home. It can be something like not allowing them to watch those cartoon shows they love so much or playing their favorite video game. If they fight over a doll or toy, snatch it from them and make it known to them that you can only return it when they change their bad behavior. Explain that you are doing it with the best intentions because their bond as siblings should always come first.

5. Show empathy

Whenever one of your children comes to you mad and crying because of something their sibling has done, respond to them instead of reacting. Let them feel you love them and care about what happens to them. Let them know you know how they are feeling at the moment.

6. Have them solve their difference

Whenever those fights happen, call them together and ask them to solve their difference. Have them talk about what caused the conflict and apologize to each other. With that, you are not only handling the rivalry but also helping them gain conflict-solving skills that they will need even in the future.

7. Let them spend some alone time

Regularly, set time for them to spend alone. You can make it thirty minutes to one hour depending on your children’s age. Time spent alone helps them reflect on things and miss each other. It also helps them value each other’s company. To make it easier for them, let them do so while reading, drawing, or playing.

Sibling rivalry has been there for ages. And while it’s every parent’s dream to see their children happy and getting along well, it is inevitable. These tips will help you combat sibling rivalry and help your children maintain a beautiful relationship that they carry to their future. Cheers to your happy family!